Ninjago parody: Season 8
by dashergirl
Summary: Lloyd and his team are trying to stop the Sons of Garmadon from resurrecting Lord Garmadon. Meanwhile, Lloyd's trying to convince everyone that he isn't gay, Nya hates Harumi with a burning passion, and Cole becomes a single dad trying to get Ultra Violet to pay child support for a child that isn't theirs. Will the ninja screw up more than they already did in the show? Maybe.
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you enjoy this story**

* * *

Lloyd enters the room where he told his friends to meet him. As he suspects, all of them are there waiting for him.

Lloyd: Sorry I'm late, guys.

Kai: Hey Lloyd. Long time no see, bro.

Zane: It's good to see you again, Lloyd.

Lloyd: I'm glad you're all here. It's been a while since we've seen each other in the same room. How's it going for you guys?

* * *

 _Nya: *summons water from a bucket* Don't fuck with me! I have the power of water and yaoi on my side!_

 _Villager: What-_

 _Nya: *shoots water at a samurai* AAAAAAAHHHH!_

* * *

 _Jay: We came all this way for nothing! I knew we shouldn't have gone here._

 _Cole: Don't worry, Jay. We'll find him soon._

 _Jay: No! I had enough of this! It's already been a year since we started and we still can't find him. This has been a waste of time!_

 _Cole: No it hasn't! We just have to try harder to find Sensei Wu._

 _Jay: Who cares about him! We're better off without him. He's a horrible teacher and he always tells me to shut up. You just want to find him so he can call you his favorite student!_

 _Cole: Fuck you!_

 _Jay: Fuck you too!_

* * *

Kai _: *struggling to fight the Mechanic* A little help, Zane!_

 _Zane: *freezes the Mechanic* I think you two need to chill out. Ha! Get it, Kai? Kai? *sees Kai frozen too* Oh shit._

* * *

Nya: Nothing too important. So Lloyd, do you finally have a boyfriend?

Lloyd: Are you serious, Nya? I told you hundreds of times before that I'm not gay and you still believe it.

Jay: You don't have to keep hiding it, Lloyd. Ninjago already respects your interest in guys.

Lloyd: *sighs* Anyways, the reason why I called you all here is because of this. *shows his friends the Sons of Garmadon logo on his phone* Seventy-two hours ago, the Sons of Garmadon stole a mask from Cyrus Borg.

Kai: Sons of what?

Lloyd: You know. The Sons of Garmadon.

Everyone: …

Lloyd: The mysterious gang that's been terrorizing the people of Ninjago city for a year.

Jay: Doesn't ring a bell.

Lloyd: Wow. You guys really don't know who I'm talking about.

Everyone: *nods*

Lloyd: They're a group who- Nevermind. All you need to know is they stole a mask and it's very important.

Cole: So? It's just a mask. I don't see why we have to worry about it.

Hutchins: *enters the room* It's not just any ordinary mask. It's the Oni mask.

Kai: Who the fuck are you?

Hutchins: There are three of them out there in Ninjago.

Kai: Hello? Are you going to answer my question?

Hutchins: If someone unites the masks, they'll possess great power.

Kai: Hey! Answer my fucking question! Who the fuck are you?!

Lloyd: Kai, don't talk to him like that! That's Hutchins, the council of the royal family.

Zane: You never said anything about him coming here.

Jay: Wait, we have royalty in Ninjago? I thought we lived in a democracy?

Nya: How do you not know about the royal family?

Jay: I never heard anything about them. I assumed we had a president.

Hutchins: That's because they keep their lives private and have the Mask of Deception. The emperor will give a public speech tomorrow. I fear the Sons of Garmadon may try to steal the mask during this event. I would appreciate it if you keep a lookout for anything suspicious.

Lloyd: Don't worry. We'll make sure nothing goes wrong. Isn't that right, guys?

Cole: I'm actually busy tomorrow. So-

Lloyd: We'll be there.

* * *

The next day, the Emperor's giving out his speech to the public as the ninja are on the lookout for anything suspicious.

Lloyd: *stares at Harumi* She's perfect.

Cole: Is anyone noticing that Lloyd's been staring at the princess for a little too long? It's already been an hour and I think he hasn't blinked.

Zane: It looks like he may have a crush on her.

Kai: That's impossible. He only likes guys.

Jay: That's true.

Nya: I hope you're right. I don't want this to ruin my ships.

Zane: How would Lloyd liking a girl ruin a large boat that travels on the sea?

Lloyd: You guys know that I can hear you, right?

Everyone: …

Kai: So… Do you have a boyfriend?

Lloyd: *sighs* Let's just get this job over with.

All of a sudden, they hear gunshots and everyone starts panicking.

Lloyd: GET DOWN! *tackles the Princess and Empress*

Emperor: Calm down, everyone. *gets shot in the kidney* OW! My kidney! *falls*

Hutchins: *returns from the bathroom* What did I miss? *sees the Emperor on the ground bleeding* OH SHIT!

Everything's going horribly wrong. Nya gets push to the ground which leads her to cry for help. Zane hears this and starts shooting random people with his bow and arrows. While Cole, Jay, and Kai are trying to help out the Emperor, Hutchins calls an ambulance. Nya stands up and sees that a lit up firecracker is the cause of the noise.

Nya: False alarm, everyone! It wasn't gunshots. Their just firecrackers.

Lloyd: *gets up* Oh thank the First Spinjitzu Master.

Jay: Well I think that went well. So Hutchins, are we getting paid for this?

Hutchins: You injured twelve civilians.

Kai: That's not true-

Random Guy: *has an arrow in his leg* OH GOD MY LEG!

Zane: Oh dear.

Hutchins: Also you failed at protecting the Emperor.

Emperor: *getting carry away to the ambulance* Don't worry, everyone. I'll be okay. *gets shot in the kidney again* Who's doing that!?

Harumi: *hides the gun* I don't know.

Lloyd: Isn't that your job to protect him?

Hutchins: ... Anyways, all of you are invited to be guests at the palace for some reason.

Jay: Sweet! First, I found out that there's an emperor and now we get to go inside of the palace. This is so awesome!

Nya: It's not that special, Jay. We've seen better things than a stupid palace.

Kai: Who put salt in your water, Nya?

* * *

Later at night, the team enters the palace and they're pretty impressed. Except for Nya since she's still acting salty. They enter the throne room and see the Emperor, Empress and Princess Harumi. Surprisingly the Emperor survived the gunshots and is doing well.

Hutchins: I would like you to meet the Emperor and Empress of Ninjago. Also their daughter, Princess Harumi.

Emperor: It's nice to meet you all.

Nya: This place sucks and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Lloyd: NYA! I'm so sorry about her, your majesty.

Emperor: It's okay. I kinda agree with her. Anyways, I'm glad you all came.

Harumi: I've heard many things about you all. Kai, you're the hothead of the group and the womanizer.

Kai: She got that right.

Harumi: Cole, you're desperate to find a girlfriend. You would almost do anything to find true love, even if it means dating a man.

Cole: How do you know that?

Harumi: Jay, once someone speaks to you there's no way you can shut up.

Jay: Hey!

Harumi: Zane, the mother of the group. You look after your team as if they're your children.

Zane: That's true.

Harumi: Nya, the girl.

Nya: *glares at Harumi and almost flips her off*

Harumi: The girl who writes wonderful fanfictions about Lloyd being gay. I read many of them. Ones where Lloyd's dating either Morro, Kai, Jay, Zane, Cole, and many more guys. Your favorite ship is Greenflame.

Nya: *mutters* I guess you gain little of my respect.

Harumi: Last but not least, Lloyd Garmadon, the green ninja. The youngest but the strongest one in the group.

Lloyd: *smiles*

Harumi: Also you're gay.

Lloyd: *frowns*

Harumi: It's nice how your family loves you so much, like my real parents.

Jay: What?

Empress: We found her on the streets when she was little.

Emperor: She cost fifty cents and I thought to myself "Why not adopt her? She could be Ninjago's next leader when she's older".

Harumi: *mumbles to herself* Sometimes I wish you just left me on the streets.

Lloyd: Thank you for inviting us to your palace, your majesty.

Emperor: It was Harumi who wanted you all here. She's been dying to meet you all. She said, "It'll be nice to meet them in person, especially Lloyd. Also, they can protect The Mask of Deception."

Lloyd: I don't think we can-

Harumi: Please help us. We could be in great danger if the Sons of Garmadon take it.

Lloyd: Sure. We'll keep the mask safe, right guys.

Cole: I'm busy again tomorrow.

Lloyd: No one cares. We'll do it.

* * *

A few minutes later during the tour

Hutchins: I recommend you to not damage anything here because everything is very expensive and some might lead to places your not allowed to see. Especially the cake room we have for no reason.

Cole: Don't worry about me eating it all. I'm now vegan so I don't like cake.

Jay: What about the whole "if I don't end up with someone I'll marry a cake" thing?

Cole: Shut up, Jay! Everyone doesn't need to know that!

Zane: I'm confused.

Jay: I'll explain later.

Kai: So Hutchins, didn't you say there are secrets in the palace?

Hutchins: Yes. Why do you ask?

Kai: I was just wondering if there's… *sees a bookcase* A secret right here! *pushes it over and there's nothing behind it* What?!

Hutchins: That's not it.

Kai: *breaks a vase* Here!

Hutchins: Nope.

Kai: How about here! *flips over a table*

Hutchins: Not even close.

Kai: Here! *throws a book at the window*

Hutchins: *walks away as Kai destroys everything*

Kai: *picks up Nya* I think it's here, guys! *throws Nya at a wall*

Nya: Goddammit Kai! I'm not an object to throw at things.

* * *

Later

Hutchins: *shows the ninja the Mask of Deception* And finally, we have the Mask of Deception you must protect.

Kai: *looks at the mask* Woah... Now that's gonna give me nightmares for a while.

Cole: So if we have this mask and the Sons of Garmadon have The Mask of Vengeance, then where's the third one.

Hutchins: No one knows where The Mask of Hatred is, but it won't be missing for too long. You see…

Lloyd: *walks away to stalk the princess in her room*

Harumi: *notices Lloyd watching her as she's putting on makeup* ...

Lloyd: *whispers* Please notice me, Senpai.

Harumi: *looks away from Lloyd* (What the fuck?)

Lloyd: Okay. I'll go. *walks back to his team*

Hutchins: And that's why we need you to keep an eye on it so no one can take it.

Kai: Can you repeat that all over again?

Hutchins: No. *walks away*

* * *

Later on the roof of the palace with Nya and Kai

Nya: All clear.

Kai: Nya, I know Lloyd isn't straight, but why don't you want him to date a girl?

Nya: Kai, you know I write fanfictions about Lloyd dating guys.

Kai: Yeah. They're okay, but it gets really annoying when it's all you talk about.

Nya: Well I really want Lloyd to find a boyfriend and I don't care if he ends up with a guy who isn't you. If Lloyd dates a girl then people will tell me to stop writing stories about Lloyd being gay, because he's straight.

Kai: First, Lloyd's gay and he's not into girls. Second, you're overreacting. Third, everyone isn't going to say that to you. The majority don't really care and it doesn't matter. You can live without Lloyd having a boyfriend.

Nya: You're right. Thanks, Kai. That made me feel better. *hugs Kai*

Kai: *hugs Nya* No problem, little sis. Don't worry about it. It won't happen because he's gay. *pulls away and sees Hutchins on the ground* Were you listening to our conversation?

Hutchins: *wipes his tears away* No.

Nya: Are you crying?

Hutchins: I'm not crying! You're crying! *runs away*

* * *

Meanwhile with Cole, Zane, and Jay in the palace

Jay: *eating cake* Hey Cole, are you sure you don't want any cake?

Cole: *tries to look away from the cake* I'm fine. Like I said I'm vegan.

Jay: I think you can still eat cake while being vegan.

Zane: May we please discuss Cole marrying a cake if he ends up single?

Jay: Basically if Cole doesn't get a girlfriend or a boyfriend, he'll marry a cake.

Cole: JAY!

Jay: What?

Zane: Cole, that's very depressing.

Jay: I know right. He says he's vegan because someone heard about his plan.

Cole: Fuck you, guys.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lloyd hears a crash from Harumi's room and runs to there. Once he gets there, the room is a complete mess and the balcony doors are open wide.

Lloyd: Well fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Before the chapter starts, I want to answer a question from the comments. Lloyd isn't gay in the story. He's trying to get everyone to believe he's straight by dating a girl. The reason why everyone thinks he's gay will be explained later in the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

 **Previously on Ninjago**

Lloyd: Well fuck.

 **Episode 76: The Jade Princess**

* * *

The next day during training

Nya: So Lloyd, do you mind telling us what happened last night? *dodges Jay's attack* We heard that you and the princess were in town. What's up with that?

Lloyd: You know. *deflects Cole's hammer* The Princess and I went out together. Alone and I think she likes me.

Kai: What? *gets punched in the stomach by Zane* I wasn't ready!

Zane: Sorry.

Lloyd: I'll just explain it to you guys.

* * *

 **Lloyd: I heard a crashed from Harumi's room and went to go investigate it. No one was in the room and the balcony doors were open. I saw someone on the roof with a large bag and I was like.**

 _Lloyd: Oh hell no! You ain't taking the princess away from me!_

 **Lloyd: So I chased after them and surprisingly it turns out to be Princess Harumi. She was like.**

 _Harumi: Hey Lloyd, I was just on my way to do innocent things like give food to the poor, rescue cats from trees, and worship Lord Garmadon._

 _Lloyd: What was the last part?_

 _Harumi: Nothing! Anyways since you're here, you want to join me._

 _Lloyd: Sure, Harumi._

 _Harumi: You can call me Rumi._

 **Nya: Did she said "Worship Lord Garmadon?"**

 **Lloyd: I don't think she said that. Anyways, we walked through town, got to know each other a little bit more and I saw a knife in her pocket.**

 **Nya: Why the fuck did she had a knife on her?**

 **Lloyd: Harumi probably had it to protect herself from danger.**

 **Nya: *rolls her eyes* Right.**

 **Lloyd: Then Hutchins came out of nowhere and ruined everything.**

 _Hutchins: Harumi, what are you doing with this peasant!?_

 _Harumi: First, he isn't a peasant. He's the green ninja who has protected Ninjago for who knows how long. Second,_ _I'm in love with Lloyd and you can't change it._

 _Hutchins: You can't date someone you just met._

 _Lloyd: You can if it's true love. Besides, you don't know anything about love._

 _Hutchins: This is unacceptable! I won't allow it because I'm an old fart who doesn't understand what true love is. All I know is that once you're in love, your 'lover' will lose interest in you and date your fucking best friend behind your back! Then when you propose to her in front of a crowd of thousands of people, she'll dump you and run off with your friend like the damn thot she is! Leaving you heartbroken and_ _humiliated, because that's what thots do! I KNOW FOR SURE WHAT TRUE LOVE IS! *starts crying*_

 _Lloyd and Harumi: ... Are you okay?_

 _Hutchins: *stops crying* NO I'M NOT! I will not allow this to happen!_

 _Lloyd: *grabs Harumi's hand* You'll never take her! If she wants to be with me, then she will. You can never stop the power of love!_

 _Hutchins: Watch me, bitch! Come on, Harumi. Let's go back to the palace. *walks away*_

 _Harumi: *let's go of Lloyd's hand* I'm sorry, Lloyd. *walks away with Hutchins*_

 _Lloyd: Harumi..._

 **Lloyd: And that was it... I never saw Harumi after that night. Our love is strong for each other, but destiny tries to separate us apart. We may never see each other again. *whispers* So tragic.**

* * *

Jay: Are you lying?

Lloyd: No! Why would you think I made it all up?

Zane: Hutchins wouldn't say something like that and Harumi wouldn't say that either.

Lloyd: Okay. Maybe some of the things are made up except for Hutchins's ex-girlfriend. All of that doesn't matter, because I think she loves me and who knows. Maybe I could be more than a friend to her.

Kai: So like a gay best friend?

Lloyd: *points his sword at Kai* Kai, just shut up! I'm getting extremely tired of this.

Zane: We just started training.

Lloyd: *puts his sword down* Not that. It's just-

Jay: You like a guy, but you don't know how to get him to like you.

Everyone: WHAT!?

Lloyd: Where did you get that?!

Jay: You talked in your sleep last night. You keep saying 'Senpai, I love you! I need you in my life.'

Nya: So you finally like a guy! This is the best day ever!

Lloyd: No! That's not it! I like Harumi!

Kai: You don't have to be shy about it. If you want to impress him, you act like you don't give a shit about him. If he's dying, let him die.

Zane: That's terrible advice.

Cole: Yeah. Lloyd, you have to act tough. That always gets ladies wanting you more. Or guys since you're gay.

Kai: Says the guy who doesn't have a girlfriend.

Cole: *glares at Kai* I went on dates, Kai! It just that they don't see me as boyfriend material. Except for one, but she's crazy.

Jay: Lloyd, You should like what he likes. I found yaoi very interesting ever since I dated Nya. *whispers* I still don't understand how girls are into that stuff.

Nya: I heard that! Lloyd, guys like you want a man to be true to themselves. So just be yourself. If he doesn't want you for who you are, then that's his problem. *smiles at Lloyd* There's always someone out there for you, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Thanks. That made me feel good.

Nya: So you finally admit you like a guy.

Lloyd drops his sword he was using for training and starts walking away. Before he goes, he looks at Nya with a serious expression on his face.

Lloyd: One day, Nya. One day I'll get a girlfriend and prove you wrong. *walks away*

Nya: *smirks* You can't run forever, Lloyd.

* * *

Later in the palace, as Lloyd walks around the palace, he hears the Emperor, Empress, and Harumi talking in the throne room.

Emperor: What were you thinking!? Going outside with the ninja just so you can do kind things like helping the poor!

Empress: You could've got hurt.

Emperor: Or killed!

Harumi: I wasn't doing anything wrong like running a cult. I was doing kind things like any Disney Princess would do. Therefore, I'm innocent and-

Emperor: We're not owned by Disney.

Harumi: What?

Emperor: We're owned by Lego. Not Disney.

Harumi: Oh shit. Well I... *runs away but stops when she sees Lloyd*

Lloyd: Hi. I-

Harumi: *runs away again* I did nothing wrong! I'm innocent!

Lloyd: Wait!

Hutchins: You know if she was killed by a homeless person while you two were in the city, I would have killed you and your family. *walks away*

Lloyd: Where did you come from?

Nya: *walks up to Lloyd* Let me guess. Harumi's life has been a lie to her.

Lloyd: Yup.

Nya: I feel a little sad for her. Just a little, because I like soap operas.

Kai: *runs up to Nya and picks her up* I FOUND THE SECRET! *throws Nya at a wall*

Nya: Ow! My back!

* * *

Later outside of the palace

Kai: *sees the Postman surrounded by guards*

Postman: I'm just here delivering mail. You see me every day!

Guard 1: Don't take another step.

Postman: *whispers* Watch me. *takes a step*

Guard 1: What did I fucking say!? *pulls out his sword*

Kai: Guys, calm down! I know him. Sorry, Mr. Postman. I'll deliver the mail.

Postman: Thanks. *hands the mail to Kai* See you next season.

Kai: Mr. Postman, did you just break the fourth wall?

Postman: Maybe. Maybe not. *runs off*

* * *

Meanwhile, Cole's climbing up the palace while talking to himself

Cole: *gets to the top and looks around* What a lovely view... You know. This strangely reminds me of the time when I met Wu.

 _Cole climbed a mountain and when he gets to the top he saw an old man drinking tea_

 _Cole: …_

 _Sensei Wu: … *notices Cole* What the fuck are you doing on my mountain?_

 _Cole: What?_

 _Sensei Wu: Go climb a different mountain! This one's mine._

 _Cole: You don't own this mountain!_

 _Sensei Wu: I got here first. So piss off!_

 _Cole: You know what?! Fine! I don't even want to be here with you and your stupid beard!_

 _Sensei Wu: How dare you say that about my beard! Just who do you think you are?!_

 _Cole: Cole Brookstone! That's who I am!_

 _Sensei Wu: Oh… Well, this is awkward._

 _Cole: What's awkward?_

 _Sensei Wu: I've been waiting for you, Cole Brookstone... For too long! Where the fuck_ were _you! You were supposed to be here yesterday! I had to sleep up here last night and then a bird attacked me!_

 _Cole: Sorry. I didn't expect someone was waiting for me up a mountain. Why are you even here?_

 _Sensei Wu: I need you to become a ninja so you can fight my brother. It's a dangerous task and I understand if you-_

 _Cole: I'll do it._

 _Sensei Wu: Are you serious?!_

 _Cole: Only because my dad won't stop talking about how Footloose is the 'greatest film'. Also, my mom died so I'm still pretty sad about that._

Cole: He was kinda a d- *sees Hutchins going through a secret entrance* Where's he going? *follows him*

* * *

Later with Kai and Nya at the entrance of the palace

Nya: So then I was like-

/Cole: Guys, the palace is about to explode!/

Nya: What? *sees the palace explode*

Kai: *sees the palace on fire* Holy shit! *sees another explosion* What can get worse than this?!

Kai and Nya turn around and see the Sons of Garmadon, Mr. E, and Ultra Violet in front of them.

Mr. E: *waves*

Ultra Violet: Sup MOTHERFUCKERS!

Nya: You just had to jinx us, Kai.

Kai: Oh come on! *gets run over by the Sons of Garmadon, Mr. E, and Ultra Violet*

Nya: You'll pay for that, bitch!

* * *

Meanwhile, with Lloyd, he's in the palace and sees everything inside burning down like hell. Everyone is either running or fighting for their lives.

/Nya: We're being under attack!/

Lloyd: I can see that. *sees Hutchins* You!

Hutchins: Who me?

Lloyd: Yes you!

Hutchins: Couldn't be.

Lloyd: Then who- You know what I'm talking about! Cole said he saw you in the tunnel with the explosives.

Hutchins: I didn't start this!I'm innocent and would never- *sees Ultra Violet coming straight towards Lloyd* Watch out! *tackles Lloyd*

Lloyd: What was that for!?

Hutchins: Do you really want to get run over by a maniac on a motorcycle?

Ultra Violet: *sees that she didn't hit Lloyd* Oh come on! You gotta be FUCKING kidding me! *gets knocked off of her motorcycle by Lloyd*

Hutchins: Does anyone know where the princess is!?

Zane: *appears out of nowhere with Harumi* I already saved her.

Harumi: Hey.

Hutchins: Oh... Did you find the Emperor and Empress?

Zane: I heard them screaming for help, but I was too busy saving Harumi.

Hutchins: You left them to die!?

Zane: Well... Oh shit.

Ultra Violet: Oh my god! *pulls out a sai* WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!? *about to stab Hutchins*

Zane: *uses spinjitzu to freeze Ultra Violet* You need to chill out you crazy bitch.

Lloyd: Thank the First Spinjitzu Master you're alright, Princess Harumi. I wouldn't know what I'll do without you because-

Harumi: Who's protecting the mask?!

Lloyd: Okay. Guess I'll go fuck myself then.

* * *

Meanwhile, with the rest of the team, they're standing in front of the Mask of Deception

Mr. E: Uv. Zl anzr vf Ze. R naq V jnf jbaqrevat vs V pbhyq obeebj gur znfx sbe n juvyr. V'yy tvir vg onpx gb lbh jura jr erfheerpg Ybeq Tneznqba.

Jay: Alright, sir. You better not take another step towards the mask or else my boyfriends and girlfriend will stop you.

Cole: Yeah- Wait, what?

Jay: I meant best friends! Not boyfriends.

Mr. E: *grabs the Mask of Vengeance from his pocket* Jryy, V thrff jr'yy qb guvf gur uneq jnl. *puts on the Mask of Vengeance on and gets four arms*

Jay: You gotta be kidding me. Four arms? So unoriginal.

Kai: Let's kick his ass!

Mr. E: *picks up Nya* Guvf ovgpu rzcgl. LRRG! *throws her at the ninja*

Nya: I'M GETTING TIRED OF THIS!

Mr. E: *grabs the Mask of Deception* Lrf!

Kai: Oh hell no! *shoots fire at the mask*

Mr. E: *sees the mask get destroyed by the fire* Jung gur shpx!?

* * *

Meanwhile with Lloyd

/Nya: You know The Mask of Deception?/

Lloyd: Yeah.

/Nya: It got destroyed/

Lloyd: WHAT!?

Hutchins: Don't worry, everyone. I have the real mask right here. *pulls out the Mask of Deception out of nowhere*

Harumi: You made a fake one?!

Hutchins: Well it's the Mask of Deception, after all, princess. I can't trust anyone with it. Especially you.

Harumi: Wha- What do you mean by that?

Hutchins: You always stare at it with a creepy smile. It's very uncomfortable.*pushes a chair that reveals a secret exit* Lloyd, I need you to get the princess and the Mask of Deception out of here. *hands Lloyd the mask* Go!

* * *

Later outside

Lloyd: *steals a motorcycle* Let's go, Rumi!

They got on the motorcycle and head off to the highway. On the highway, they're being chase down by Ultra Violet and the Sons of Garmadon on their motorcycle.

Ultra Violet: Come back, little ninja! Give me the FUCKING mask!

Lloyd: I don't think so. *goes to a different lane*

Ultra Violet: God dammit! I've been easily beaten!

Biker 1: We could just follow them.

Ultra Violet: Shut up!

* * *

Later

Harumi: I think we lost her.

Ultra Violet: *appears out of nowhere* BITCH, you thought! *drives past Lloyd*

Lloyd: Ha! She missed us. *sees the mask missing* Harumi.

Harumi: Yeah.

Lloyd: Where's the mask?

Harumi: I think I dropped it.

Lloyd: *sighs* You're so lucky I love you.

Ultra Violet: *holds up the Mask of Deception* FUCK yeah!

Harumi: We have to get the mask back.

Lloyd: You're right. Let's- *sees the Sons of Garmadon behind Ultra Violet* How about another day?

Harumi: Sounds good.

Lloyd: *drives off to the Destiny Bounty* This way!

Once Lloyd and Harumi get there, they run inside.

Harumi: What are we doing here?! We can't escape on a boat.

Lloyd: Don't worry. I got a plan. *turns the machine on* We'll just- *sees the machine turn off* Come on! *repeatedly kicks it*

Harumi: *looks outside and sees the Sons of Garmadon coming closer to the Destiny's Bounty* They're getting closer, Lloyd.

Lloyd: *walks over to the power generator and smashes his fists on it* Work already! *sees the ship finally turn on* Finally. *runs to the steering wheel* Let's go.

* * *

Meanwhile outside

Ultra Violet: *sees the Destiny's Bounty fly away and throws the Mask of Deception to the ground* FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER FUCKING DAMMIT!

Biker 1: At least we have the mask.

Ultra Violet: Shut up, Brian!

Jeff: My names Jeff.

* * *

The next day on the highway with the rest of the ninja

Zane: Is everyone alright?

Jay: *falls to the ground* I think my everything's broken.

Nya: It's no fair Lloyd didn't have to fight that guy. *stretches her back*

Kai: Speaking of Lloyd, where is he?

Cole: *stretches his arm* I don't know. He left with Harumi with the Mask of Deception.

Jay: *points at the Destiny's Bounty coming towards them* There he is!

Lloyd: *arrives with Harumi on the Destiny's Bounty* …

Everyone: *gets on the ship* ...

Zane: You lost the mask, didn't you?

Lloyd: Yeah.

Harumi: What happened to everyone?

Cole: I'm sorry to say this but-

Nya: They died in the fire. Everyone's dead… Even Hutchins and your parents.

Harumi: *tries not to cry* Oh...

Lloyd: *puts his hand on her shoulder* Don't worry, princess. I'll make sure whoever did this pays. And by that I mean die because no one hurts Senpai.

Nya: Your crush got hurt in the fire?

Lloyd: No! That's not true.

Harumi: Lloyd has a crush on a boy?

Lloyd: Damn it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the long wait. I was on writer's block and trying to find a way to make the story funny. I'm hoping the same thing doesn't happen with the next chapter, but we'll wait and see. This chapter is probably going to have some mistakes. I'll fix the chapter tomorrow, because I'm busy and I want this out for you guys on Halloween. Please enjoy**

* * *

 **Previously on Ninjago**

Harumi: What happened to everyone?

Cole: I'm sorry to say this but-

Nya: They died in the fire. Everyone's dead… Even Hutchins.

Harumi: Lloyd has a crush on a boy?

Lloyd: Damn it!

 **Episode 77: The Oni and the Dragon**

* * *

 **The next day, the ninja and the princess are still hiding on the Destiny's Bounty. Everyone is gathered in the control room to discuss on what to do next.**

Zane: Okay, so we know that we screwed up since the Sons of Garmadon have two of the three Oni masks.

Jay: *coughs* Lloyd's fault. *coughs*

Lloyd: Shut up! It wasn't my fault.

Nya: He's right, Jay... It's Harumi's fault.

Harumi: W-what!?

Lloyd: It's not her fault either!

Nya: If you say so.

Zane: *sighs in annoyance* Since the Mask of Hatred is still missing, I suggest that we try to figure out who's the leader of the Sons of Garmadon and-

Harumi: Why would you guys want to know that? It doesn't matter. All that matters is the third mask.

Nya: If you were listening to Zane, then you'll know that he said no one knows where the third mask is! You're acting a little strange lately, Harumi.

Zane: Guys-

Lloyd: Don't be mean to her!

Nya: She was the reason we lost the Mask of Deception-

Zane: CAN EVERYONE STOP INTERRUPTING ME!?

Everyone: …

Cole: Well damn.

Zane: Thank you. Anyways, we still have the suspect who was involved with stealing the first mask. We could start with him and hopefully, find out who's their leader.

Kai: That'll be easy because I have the perfect plan to get him talking.

Zane: Continue.

Kai: We can make him listen to my new hot mixtape. He's gonna love it so much that he'll tell us everything about the Sons of Garmadon.

Everyone: ...

Lloyd: You're staying.

Kai: What!? I want to be involved in this episode!

Lloyd: You and Nya were the main focus of last season!

Kai: Fine!

* * *

 **Later with Cole, Zane, Jay, and Lloyd at Ninjago City.**

Jay: So explain to me again why we're going Mistaké's Tea Shop.

Lloyd: We need to pick up some tea over at her shop for the interrogation. *enters the tea shop with Jay, Cole, and Zane* Hello Mistaké.

Mistaké: I said come back tomorrow! I don't have the- I mean, hello there. I haven't seen you sweet boys in a while. It's so lovely to see you again.

Lloyd: Mistaké, we were wondering if-

Mistaké: You're here for the Tea of Truth, aren't you?

Jay: How did you know?

Mistaké: Zane ordered online.

Jay: Mistaké, are you still selling drugs?

Mistaké: I'm not selling any of that stuff anymore. I've gone clean and moved on from my bad habits of selling illegal-

Cole: *points to a bag that says 'weed'* Then what's that?

Mistaké: … *pulls out a gun and points it at the ninja* Don't call the police on me.

Jay: Okay! Okay! We won't!

Mistaké: *puts the gun away* Good. I knew you boys would understand. *walks away to get the tea*

Lloyd: Should we do something about Mistaké's-

Zane: We'll get her some help after all of this is over.

Mistaké: *comes back with the tea in a bag and hands it to Lloyd* Here's your tea. Now leave.

Lloyd: *sees a painting behind Mistaké* What's that over there?

Mistaké: That's just a box of-

Lloyd: No. Not the illegal weapons. The painting.

Mistaké: *turns around and sees the painting Lloyd's talking about* Oh. That's just the Oni and the Dragon, but I don't have enough time for-

Lloyd: We'll pay you double.

Mistaké: A story is what you want, then a story is what you'll get. Get yourselves comfortable because it's going to be a long one.

Lloyd: Alright. *hands Zane the Tea of Truth* You and Cole go to the police station while Jay and I stay.

Zane: Sounds good. *walks away with Cole*

Jay: Why couldn't I go?! This place is creepy!

Mistaké: Come along now, boys. I don't have all the time in the world since I have something to do in an hour.

* * *

 **Meanwhile with Zane and Cole at the Police Station**

Zane: *grabs two cups of tea* Here's the plan. We'll make the suspect drink the Tea of Truth and ask him who's the Sons of Garmadon's leader is. The cup on my right contains the Tea of Truth while the other doesn't. *hands the cups to Cole* Don't mess it up.

Cole: I won't, but can I be the Bad Cop?

Zane: We won't be needing to do that, Cole.

Cole: Come on, Zane. It'll be fun. *gets pushed by a random guy and throws the cups in the air* Oh shit! *catches them*

Random guy: *runs away* You'll never take me alive! Ah ha ha!

Zane: *freezes the ground*

Random guy: *slips on the ice and falls* Fuck!

Police: *runs up to the guy and starts shooting him with a gun*

Zane: Ready to go inside, Cole.

Cole: *looks at the cups and switches them* Yeah, I guess.

* * *

 **They enter the interrogation room where they see the suspect in handcuffs.**

Luke: I had a feeling you ninja were going to show up soon.

Zane: Nice to meet you too, Luke Cunningham. We would like you to answer a few questions if you mind.

Luke: You ain't getting a word from me about the Sons of Garmadon.

Cole: Take your sweet time. While we're waiting for you to answer, care for a cup of tea? *places the cups down on the table*

Luke: I'm good.

Cole: Are you sure? This is some good tea. *drinks from one of the cups*

Luke: I'm don't like tea.

Cole: Drink this right now or I'll pour it on the floor and blame it on you!

Luke: No!

Cole: Just drink the damn tea so we'll find out who's running the fucking Sons of Garmadon! *eyes widen* ...

Zane: You drank the wrong cup!?

Cole: No shit Sherlock!

Luke: You can't lie?

Cole: Yes. Damn it!

Luke: *smirks* Are the rumors true that you'll marry a cake?

Cole: Kinda. I'm trying to get a girlfriend. If I don't end up with a girl or boy, I'll marry a cake. Fuck!

Luke: HA! I knew it.

Cole: Oh god. Zane, do something.

Zane: *slaps Cole*

Cole: What was that for!?

Zane: You said you wanted me to get you to shut up.

Cole: Not by hurting me!

Luke: Where the princess?

Cole: She's-

Zane: *pours hot tea onto Cole*

Cole: AAAAAHHH! She's at the- *gets hit by a cup* Destiny's Bounty- *gets hit by another cup*

* * *

 **Minutes later, Cole faints from all the pain he's been through.**

Zane: Maybe you should have left the room instead, Cole.

Cole: …

Zane: Anyways, would you like to tell us about the Sons of Garmadon, Luke?

Luke: Nope.

Zane: *slams his hands on the table* TWENTY-EIGHT STAB WOUNDS! You didn't want to give him a chance, huh!? Did you feel anger? Hate? He was bleeding, begging for mercy, but you stabbed him, again and again, and again!

Luke: What are you talking about!?

Cole: *wakes up* I thought I was bad cop!?

Zane: We're not doing that, Cole- Wait, you woke up that fast?

Cole: Yeah and I'm supposed to be Bad Cop. Tell us about The Sons of Garmadon, Luke!

Luke: No!

Zane: *pulls out a knife from his pocket* What was that?

Luke: ...

Cole: I would talk if I were you. The last time he did this to someone it did not turn out well.

* * *

 **Meanwhile with Jay and Lloyd at the Tea Shop**

Mistaké: Have some tea, you two. *hands Jay and Lloyd cups of tea*

Lloyd: *puts the cup down* No thanks. I'm good.

Jay: *drinks the tea* Wow. This actually tastes good. I don't know why I was so worried about any of this in the first place.

Mistaké: Good. Now I shall tell you the Tale of the Oni and the Dragon. Basically, the first realm is the Oni and the Dragon. The Dragon has the power to create while the Oni has the power to destroy. When a little boy who was born from both worlds came along, they fought over him like divorced parents fighting over who should keep the child. The child ran away like a little bitch and made a new world called Ninjago.

Lloyd: So the child born from both world is the First Spinjitzu Master?

Mistaké: How did you get that so fast?

Lloyd: That's really my great grandfather!? I just guessed.

Jay: Well you learn something new every day.

Mistaké: I going to skip a couple of things since I don't have much time. So I'm just going to make this short and sweet. If the Sons of Garmadon unite the three masks they'll be able to bring back Lord Garmadon.

Lloyd: Oh god...

Jay: Mistaké, I'm starting to feel strange now.

Mistaké: That's because something cool is about to happen once the tea kicks in.

Jay: *looks at his cup and then Lloyd* Lloyd, I wanna go home now. *starts sees illusions* Oh, hi Nya. What are you doing here?

Lloyd: *grabs Jay's arm* Come on, let's go. *leads him out of the tea shop*

Jay: I feel so high right now!

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at the Destiny's Bounty, Harumi's looking through some old pictures of hers. She frames them on the wall and notices a picture of Garmadon and Lloyd in the room.**

Nya: What the hell are you doing?

Harumi: Sorry. I'm just looking at that picture over there.

Nya: You mean the picture with Garmadon and Lloyd?

Harumi: Yes.

Nya: Alright Harumi, there's something I want you to know. I know what you're trying to do.

Harumi: What are you talking about?

Nya: I know deep down you have evil intentions.

Harumi: Evil intentions? I don't know what you mean by that.

Nya: You know what I mean. 'Accidentally' dropping the Mask of Deception, Lloyd liking you even tho he's gay, the whole pretending to be all innocent because you're a pretty princess and shit. Most importantly, the one reminder that I'll never be a Disney Princess no matter how much I try. You're up to something. Something dangerous.

Harumi: What was that last part?

Nya: Don't change the subject! *pulls out a sword and points it at her* Any last words?

Kai: *enters the room* Nya! What are you doing?!

Nya: Nothing.

Kai: Well it looks like you're trying to kill the princess!

Nya: I'm not! Go away!

Lloyd: *walks into the room* What's going on here?

Harumi: I'm confused as you are, Lloyd.

Nya: *throws her sword to the ground* Dammit! *glares at Harumi* I will find out what you're doing. Just you wait!

Harumi: ... So how did it go?

Lloyd: Good. I need everyone here now.

Nya: Why?

Lloyd: First, Jay and I bought pizza and you know how Cole gets upset when he's left out. Second, we just learned that the Sons of Garmadon want to resurrect my father. The usual.

Kai: There's nothing normal about that.

Lloyd: You're not in this scene, Kai.

Kai: Just because you're the leader doesn't mean you can always tell me what to do!

* * *

 **At Laughy's, Zane and Cole enter the bar wearing disguises. Zane's is the coolest while Cole is literally wearing trash. I have no idea why he chose to wear it instead of buying a disguise at Walmart... Sorry, I'm getting off track. The whole place is crowded with the majority of the Sons of Garmadon there.**

Cole: Did you really have to kill him?

Zane: I had no choice. He wasn't telling us who the leader was.

Cole: True… I still think you should wear the disguise I made for you. Even if it kinda looked trashy.

Zane: That's because it was made of actual trash. *sees Dareth tending the bar* Dareth?

Dareth: *sees Cole and Zane* Oh thank the First Spinjitzu Master you two are here.

Cole: Why are you working here, man? Don't you run a dojo?

Dareth: My dojo was burned down and it's getting rebuilt. So I made this place so I can have a purpose in life. Everything was going great until the Sons of Garmadon made this their hang out. Now it's ruined. At least Mr. E gives me a tip.

Cole: Who's Mr. E?

Dareth: That guy with Ultra Violet.

 **Dareth points to Ultra Violet and Mr. E who are on the balcony. Ultra Violet is getting annoyed by the music that's playing while Mr. E is nodding his head to the beat.**

Ultra Violet: *points to two bikers* You two! Get them the FUCK out of here! *sees two of the bikers throw two of the singers out of the club*

Mr. E: V jnf yvfgravat gb gurz fvatvat!

Ultra Violet: I don't FUCKING care! You have a terrible taste in music!

Mr. E: Shpx lbh!

Dareth: The silent guy is Mr. E and the girl who shouts when she swears is Ultra Violet.

Cole: Oh god. *turns away from Ultra Violet*

Zane: What's wrong?

Cole: Do you remember I said one of the girls I dated was crazy and I broke up with her?

Zane: Yeah.

Cole: *points to Ultra Violet* That's her.

Zane: You dated Ultra Violet!?

Dareth: Oh boy.

Cole: Yeah. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. So I broke up with her and now she hates my guts.

Zane: Wow. I don't know how to respond to that. Anyways, we'll need a plan to gain their trust in order to find out who's their leader. Dareth, are you willing to help us?

Dareth: I would love to help you guys out. I really do, but I can't since someone threatened me to put my decapitated head on a stick if I don't hand them a drink. So good luck to you guys. *walks away*

Cole: Now what?

Zane: While we were talking to Dareth, I ran millions of simulations to help us find a plan. I found one that's successful and doesn't end with one of us dead.

Cole: That's great. So what's the plan? *grabs a bottle of blueberry mojito and pours it into a cup*

Zane: But you're not going to like it.

Cole: I think I can handle it. *grabs the cup*

Zane: Are you sure? You'll have-

Cole: Wait.

 **Cole starts drinking from the cup as he gestures to Zane to go on. Zane raises a brow at this but sighs and continues from where he was interrupted.**

Zane: To sing.

Cole: *spits out his drink* What!? There's no way I'm singing! I've been scared of singing ever since my dad threatened to eat my cake when I was six.

Zane: Cole, Ninjago is depending on us. I need you to sing so the plan can work.

Cole: I said no.

Zane: Please.

Cole: No means no!

Zane: I'll bake you any cake you wish to have. Just do this simple task!

Cole: Alright. Let's do this, but the cake better be good.

 **Cole drinks the rest of the blueberry mojito and puts the cup down on the countertop next to him. He walks to the stand and grabs the microphone, but accidentally knocks down the mic stand. Everyone turns to look at the stand from the noise as Cole puts it back up.**

Ultra Violet: What the HELL?

Mr. E: Svanyyl. Fbzr tbbq ragregnvazrag.

Cole: Hey everyone, I'm going to sing a song from my favorite anime.

Mr. E: *claps* Lnl!

 **Cole pulls out a coin from his pocket and throws it at Zane. With ease, Zane catches the coin in mid-air and puts it in the jukebox. He chooses a song on the jukebox that plays a crucial part in the plan. All-star starts playing on the speakers and Cole immediately starts panicking.**

Cole: Not that song! I wanted the Pokemon theme song.

Zane: *shrugs*

Cole: Fine. _Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me_

 _I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed_

 _She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb_

 _In the shape of an "L" on her forehead_

Ultra Violet: Oh my FUCKING First Spinjitzu Master! This guy FUCKING sucks!

Mr. E: Qbrfa'g gung fvatre ybbx snzvyvne?

Ultra Violet: You have a point. He does look a little familiar.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at the Destiny Bounty, everyone's watching all of this on Tv while eating the pizza they bought.**

Everyone: …

Jay: *grabs the remote and presses the record button* I'm recording this.

Kai: Hooray for blackmail!

* * *

 **Back at Laughy's**

Cole: _Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play_

 _Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid_

 _And all that glitters is gold_

 _Only shooting stars break the mold_

Everyone: Boo! *throws cups at Cole*

Cole: _Only shooting stars break the mold_ \- Ah! *trips on a cup and falls* My back!

Ultra Violet: Da fuck?

Cole: *gets up as his paper mustache falls off his face*

Everyone: …

Ultra Violet: COLE!?

Cole: Hey there Violet… How are you doing?

Ultra Violet: …

Cole: You doing good?

Ultra Violet: *points at Cole* FUCK HIM UP!

 **The whole biker gang stopped what they're doing and start attacking Cole.**

Cole: Oh god. *attacks them with the mic stand* Zane, a little help here!

Zane: *hits Cole with a chair* Beat him until his bones break!

Ultra Violet: *picks up a chair* HELL YEAH!

Cole: WHAT THE FUCK, ZA- *gets hit by another chair*

* * *

 **Meanwhile, with the rest of the team again.**

Everyone: *watching Cole being dragged away on TV* ...

Kai: This doesn't look good.

Nya: Okay. We need to do something about that. This is getting out of control.

Jay: *picks up his phone by him* I'll try calling Zane to find out what the hell is going on.

 _/Pixal: Zane has now blocked all communication lines./_

Jay: *throws his phone* Damn it!

Lloyd: Plan B, we'll save Cole. Pixal, look after Rumi for me while we go after the Sons of Garmadon.

 _/Pixal: Do I have a choice?/_

Lloyd: No! We need her to be alive.

 _/Pixal: Alright./_

Harumi: You guys know I can handle things myself.

Nya: Shut the fuck up! No one cares about what you think!

Kai: Nya, stop being mean to the princess!

* * *

 **The ninja arrived at Laughy's just in time. They see Mr. E and Ultra Violet getting ready to leave, while Cole's tied up to the back of Ultra Violet's motorcycle, struggling to break free.**

Lloyd: *runs up to them with the rest of the ninja* Stop right there!

Ultra Violet: Time to go! *drives off on her motorcycle with Cole*

Mr. E: Olr ovgpu. *drives off but his motorcycle breaks down* Qnzzvg! *gets off of his motorcycle and runs off*

Lloyd: After him!

 **The ninja chases after Mr. E all the way to an alley. Once they corner him, Mr. E puts on the Mask of Vengeance and climbs over the wall.**

Jay: Does anyone know how to write a good chase scene?

Kai: I don't know, man. I think we should just skip this part.

Nya: Won't that be a bad thing? It would mean we're lazy-

Lloyd: Who cares! Mr. E already got away, because we were too busy talking. Now we're never going to find him… Unless-

 **No.**

Lloyd: Please.

 **No.**

Lloyd: Please!

 **Fine.**

* * *

 **On top of a building, Lloyd sees Mr. E hanging off the edge of the rooftop.**

Mr. E: Jung gur shpx!? V gubhtug V nyernql rfpncrq!?

Lloyd: *runs up to Mr. E* It's over, Mr. E. There's nowhere to escape- *a shuriken is thrown at his hand* … MOTHERFUCKER! OH GOD WHY!?

Zane: *gets to the top of the building* Sorry! *runs up to Mr. E* Take my hand! *sticks out his hand for Mr. E to grab*

Mr. E: V'ir arire unq nalbar uryc zr bhg. V guvax V svanyyl sbhaq zl gehr orfg sevraq. *grabs his hand and runs off with Zane*

Lloyd: *pulls the shuriken out of his hand* I'm going murdering Zane the next time I see his fa- *sees that his hand isn't too severely injured* It's not too bad.

Kai: *get to the rooftop with the rest of the ninja* Lloyd, are you okay?

Lloyd: I'm fine. We need to get to Mr. E and Zane before they get away.

Nya: Let's get going then.

 _/Pixel: EVERYONE STOP!/_

Lloyd: What is it, Pixel? We have to stop Zane and Mr. E before they escape. The author isn't going to give us another chance to-

 _/Pixel: This was Zane's plan the whole time. He just gained one the Sons of Garmadon leader's trust. How did you not get that? I can't believe you're the leader./_

Cole: I think I would be a better leader.

Lloyd: Shut up, Cole! No one asked yo- Wait, Cole!? How did you get here!?

Cole: It's simple. I just- I'm not feeling so good! *disappears*

Everyone: ...

Jay: What the actual-

* * *

 **Later on the road with Ultra Violet and Mr. E**

Ultra Violet: Are you seriously going to bring him to the Big Guy?

Mr. E: Lrnu. Ur'f zl arj orfg sevraq.

Ultra Violet: I thought I was your best friend!?

Mr. E: Qvq lbh fnirq zr onpx gurer?

Ultra Violet: …

Mr. E: Qvqa'g guvax fb.

Ultra Violet: Fine! It's not like I give a FUCK or anything! B-baka.


End file.
